Saturday, March 23, 2013
I know I promised you a book review.... BUT!
I'm having a horrible time getting into this book! Please forgive me! I will post one sooner or later!
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Police, respect or leave me alone.
Yesterday I was sharing and commenting on a facebook post. It was about guns, and the former LAPD officer that is currently on the run. I made a comment that due to his training and the fact that he was killing cops and their families, contrary to what was on the .gif no one, no matter how well armed you are, should try to take this man out. Leave it to the Professionals. That cause someone to make a comment that went something like "Pigs killing Pigs who cares".
Well I care. I care that you just insulted every cop that has ever worn a badge. I hate that people care so very little for the men and women that patrol our streets and try to keep us safe. My Father was an MP in the Army. He served in Vietnam, and when he came home, after some time, he became a guard at a prison. My brother served in the Army, also as an MP. When he came home, he did security for a while, then he became an Animal Control Officer, which in our state serve under the county Sheriff. My Step Father was in the Air Force and he was AP. My mother served 25 plus years in the Army. So I come from a family of not only law enforcement, but service to our country.
Here's what really bothers me. People get mad at the Police for doing their job. The hand full of times I have been pulled over, I was in the wrong. I did not try to cry my way out of the ticket. I apologized to the Officer, and took my ticket. I have however been very lucky and I've gotten fix it tickets, or a warning.
I've also been helped by my local police department. One morning my car got stuck at the end of our drive way, and a La Vista police officer happened to drive down our street as I was trying to dig it out. He asked if he could help, and I said thanks, but I was in a big hurry to get my daughter to school. He offered and took my daughter to school, so that she would not be late. Then came back to see if I was still digging out. I was not, but I did send him away with a platter full of baked goods (it was near Christmas so I had tons of stuff), to share with the guys at the station.
I guess because of my good experiences with Police, I really hate people that talk bad about them. I think of the long shifts they work on holidays, to keep our homes and roads safe. I think of the officer that just had to see a family killed by a drunk driver, and then pulls someone over for speeding. He's probably not going to be giving them a warning ticket, but hey, you were the one that broke the law not him. Don't call him a Pig, or a Dick or whatever else you can think of because you were speeding. Think of that cop that just saw a teenager wrap their car around a tree because they were texting and speeding. He's trying to save your life, and perhaps the life of someone else on the road.
Before you go judging the men and women in uniform, think about everything they see in a shift. Then I dare you to have a problem with them trying to save your life by making you wear your seatbelt.
Being a Police Officer is a calling, just as a teacher or a Doctor. They have one of the hardest jobs on the planet, and I for one appreciate them for all they do for me.
So if you have a problem with the police, do me a favor and don't follow me on twitter or my blog. Unfriend me on Facebook and tumblr. Because I will defend these men and women til my dying day. Because for the most part, they are the most caring, honest and loving people you will ever meet in your life.
Well I care. I care that you just insulted every cop that has ever worn a badge. I hate that people care so very little for the men and women that patrol our streets and try to keep us safe. My Father was an MP in the Army. He served in Vietnam, and when he came home, after some time, he became a guard at a prison. My brother served in the Army, also as an MP. When he came home, he did security for a while, then he became an Animal Control Officer, which in our state serve under the county Sheriff. My Step Father was in the Air Force and he was AP. My mother served 25 plus years in the Army. So I come from a family of not only law enforcement, but service to our country.
Here's what really bothers me. People get mad at the Police for doing their job. The hand full of times I have been pulled over, I was in the wrong. I did not try to cry my way out of the ticket. I apologized to the Officer, and took my ticket. I have however been very lucky and I've gotten fix it tickets, or a warning.
I've also been helped by my local police department. One morning my car got stuck at the end of our drive way, and a La Vista police officer happened to drive down our street as I was trying to dig it out. He asked if he could help, and I said thanks, but I was in a big hurry to get my daughter to school. He offered and took my daughter to school, so that she would not be late. Then came back to see if I was still digging out. I was not, but I did send him away with a platter full of baked goods (it was near Christmas so I had tons of stuff), to share with the guys at the station.
I guess because of my good experiences with Police, I really hate people that talk bad about them. I think of the long shifts they work on holidays, to keep our homes and roads safe. I think of the officer that just had to see a family killed by a drunk driver, and then pulls someone over for speeding. He's probably not going to be giving them a warning ticket, but hey, you were the one that broke the law not him. Don't call him a Pig, or a Dick or whatever else you can think of because you were speeding. Think of that cop that just saw a teenager wrap their car around a tree because they were texting and speeding. He's trying to save your life, and perhaps the life of someone else on the road.
Before you go judging the men and women in uniform, think about everything they see in a shift. Then I dare you to have a problem with them trying to save your life by making you wear your seatbelt.
Being a Police Officer is a calling, just as a teacher or a Doctor. They have one of the hardest jobs on the planet, and I for one appreciate them for all they do for me.
So if you have a problem with the police, do me a favor and don't follow me on twitter or my blog. Unfriend me on Facebook and tumblr. Because I will defend these men and women til my dying day. Because for the most part, they are the most caring, honest and loving people you will ever meet in your life.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Breathe slowly......
It's funny how people expect things to be done their way all the time. Not everyone thinks the same. Some people have different priorities. Like listening to a conversation by pausing the tv that's none of their business. There are lots of different priorities for different people, and we have to accept that.
Also, I hate rude people. Not only is it rude to assume you know someone's situation, it's rude to listen to another persons conversation. If I had wanted to include you in what I was talking about I would have. Personally I think you are a piece of work, and I don't like people like that.
I just needed to get this out of my system. Next time I'll have a book review for you! I'm reading Harken by Kaleb Nation.
Don't forget to be awesome!
Also, I hate rude people. Not only is it rude to assume you know someone's situation, it's rude to listen to another persons conversation. If I had wanted to include you in what I was talking about I would have. Personally I think you are a piece of work, and I don't like people like that.
I just needed to get this out of my system. Next time I'll have a book review for you! I'm reading Harken by Kaleb Nation.
Don't forget to be awesome!
Monday, January 21, 2013
Non Traditional family
I've been divorced twice. I have 2 children by birth, 3 by marriage and countless by "adoption". And by adoption I mean friends of my 2 children that call me mom. I'm not a perfect parent. I never have claimed to be perfect. My parenting style was trial and error, with lots of errors.
I believe that I raised two responsible, caring adults. I am often reminded by others, that while I'm not perfect, my children, now adults are making all the right decisions. Which has lead us to the most unique situation I have ever run into, and am now a part of a very non traditional family.
My children both have the same father. He and I divorced when my daughter was almost 5 yrs old. He went on to remarry, and have another child. He and his new family moved out of state, and about a year later, he was murdered by his wife. She is now serving 17 years in prison for second degree murder. I've never kept this a secret, but it's not something I have shared openly until now. I think you understand my reluctance to share our story, especially with people that I don't know. You see, his wife killed him, after taking her 2 young children to daycare, returning home. Walking down the road to her father's home, taking his registered legal gun, walking back to the home she shared with my ex-husband, and shot him while he slept in his bed. She then walked back to her father's home, put the gun back from where she had taken it, walked back to her home, and called the police. She claimed that she came home to find the back door open, and assumed it was her husband, and he had not shut the door all the way after waking up. She went into the bedroom,expecting to find him awake, only to see blood all up the wall, and covering the bed, and him. I was questioned by the TBI, via phone. Wanting to know if I had any witnesses to my being home at the time of the murder. Well of course I had my entire family, as I was living with my parents, who were helping me in taking care of my kids. I also had the daycare that I took my children to in the mornings before school, and I was not only at work, but on time. The day before I had gone to the store, and had proof of my visit there in the late afternoon. I also pointed out to the detective that he could pull the phone records for their home and find that I had talked to my ex-husband at length the day before, as he had called my son to say happy birthday, and to apologize to me for his affair. There's more to that story, but I need to move on to the topic of this blog, so that will have to wait for another day.
Fast forward to June of 2012. My daughter, who is in touch with her half sister, now living with their Aunt and Uncle in Arizona, and is being told that her sister is being abused. The state of Arizona is willing to back my daughter having custody of her sister, and whether or not she was actually abused, the Aunt and Uncle are at their wits end in dealing with this girl, so they ship her to my daughter, with custody papers and basically say good riddance.
While my children where still teenagers, I had gotten them counseling. Not only did they have to deal with their father's death, but the suicide of my brother. My daughter was also dealing with 4 friends, over 4 years that also died by suicide. She developed a medical condition that baffled the doctors until someone got the bright idea to remove her gallbladder. I do believe that my children are as "normal" as they are because I made them see a therapist at least twice a month. I knew that even though they seemed "normal" that everything (and I've left a lot of it out) they went thru was more than I as and adult could deal with, much less their teenage minds to deal with.
My daughter's sister (let's call her Sue, just to give her a name for this) Sue, also went to a therapist, but admits that she didn't talk to the therapist, after she got in trouble with her Aunt for things she told that person. Big breach of sue's trust, and understandably she doesn't trust most adults. How could she with all that she's been thru. And I haven't begun to tell you everything she's endured in her 16 years. Lets be clear, none of what she has gone thru in any way excuses what you are about to read.
Sue, is quite the drama queen. Seriously I thought my daughter had cornered that market when she was that age, but alas, I'm learning that I had it quite easy with my daughter. I had the typical teenage girl issues to deal with. Know it all, on the phone all the time, boys, grades.... You get the point. My daughter was no picnic, but no where near Sue when it comes to drama.
Sue is taking honors classes in school. Yet it's a battle every day for us to get her to put the required amount of work into these classes. As we have explained to her, honor's classes should have twice the amount of work put into them to get A's and B's in the class. Sue feels she can just do the minimum work, and pass, and it's ok. My daughter has literally had to ask me to explain to this child that honors classes mean you work twice as hard as what you would for a non honors class. We still have to tell her to do her homework, how to study for a test, and there are days that she doesn't want to put the work into the class and will try to get one of us to give her the answers so that she doesn't have to read or look into it herself.
Sue also has a major attitude issue. Now this doesn't surprise me. Sue was given to my former in-laws when she was about 2 or 3, and raised by them for years. My former mother in law died, leaving her with my former father in law. Who never should have been raising her, for many many reasons. I won't go into them, I don't have the need to put that out in public... Yet..... Basically I can tell you that the two of them had 2 boys that they raised, 2 girls who both died very very young. So they spoiled Sue. Whatever she wanted, she got. They had tried to do this with my daughter, but I put a stopper in that bottle before my daughter was a year old.
Sue's Aunt and Uncle had grown children of their own. I do believe they are actually Grandparents as well. I'm not 100% sure of that, because I didn't really know them when I was part of that family. My husband really didn't care for them at all.
Sue, as I'm sure you have safely guessed by now, has Daddy issues. Let me give you a good example of this. Over the weekend, Sue met 2 classmates at Walmart to do a school project. They had to create a PSA video. So they gathered their materials (I should mention that Sue had my daughter's $300 camera to film this with), and were recording clips of them walking around the store while they did this. They then proceed to ask people the questions they needed answered to make the video. About an hour, maybe an hour and a half later, she calls my daughter and tells her they are done, and she's ready to be picked up. Off to Walmart go my daughter and her boyfriend (who is also living in home), not only to pick her up, but to get a few things we need here.
They get back home, unpack the items, and do what ever else they need to do. My daughter's boyfriend leaves for work, and my daughter is helping Sue gather what she needs to edit this video. Now mind you, Sue has had every piece of electronic equipment taken away from her, for various reasons. She is basically grounded from technology because she can't do what she's expected to do at 16. She has chores that are often done half way. She has epilepsy and has had issues in remembering to take her medication. So my daughter gives her a laptop to use to edit the videos they took, and make the PSA. Sounds pretty basic right? Nope, here is where the drama begins, this week.
One would think that 16 yr old kids really don't want to be doing school work on a Saturday, and that they would go in, get the footage they needed, and get out as quickly as possible. My daughter starts watching the video clips, and finds that this isn't the case. Not only did they not get the footage they needed to get for the assignment, but they quite literally jacked around in Walmart, flirting and being stupid for most of the clips. My daughter, with my complete understanding and sympathy at this point, loses her temper. It is on the footage for everyone to hear, exactly how much screwing around they did. How much a bully Sue comes across in the footage as, and to top it all off, apparently one of the kids didn't like the answer that someone gave about not wanting to be on camera, and when the guy walked away the other student is heard saying "He must be illegal". This causes Sue and the other boy to start laughing. My daughter is not amused by this at all. You see, my kids were raised with the knowledge that you are no better than the next person. You have no right to make fun of, bully or discriminate against anyone. My daughter took that statement as racist, and told Sue that not only was it not funny, but Sue is now in my daughter's mind, a bully and a racist.
I won't bore you with all the details of what was said, or done in the last 24 plus hours. I will tell you that things got so bad that my daughter told Sue : "I feel like a failure of a mom. I am suppose to be raising you, teaching you right from wrong, and yet you can't seem to learn what I teach you. You have made me believe that I shouldn't be a mom, ever". Now my daughter has wanted to be a mom since she was about 5 years old. Maybe younger. She always loved babies, and kids. She was everyone're favorite babysitter when she was younger, and still is to some now. My daughter wanted nothing more than to be a mom, so to hear her say that, quite literally broke my heart. After Sue went to her room, I reminded my daughter that mom's aren't perfect, and that she can't take this personally. That there are many many things that happened to shape her sister the way she is now, and it's going to take a whole lot of time to under do this.
I hope my daughter doesn't give up on being a mom. I don't want her to give up on that idea. Some times, we are given our lot in life to teach us how to be stronger and better than those that came before us. So, here's to a non traditional family, and to one day seeing my daughter give birth to a child, the same way my mother was there when I had her.
There isn't really a point in my blog today, other than I'm sure there are other families out there, and they need to know they aren't the only ones in this situation. They are not alone. We are not alone. Being a mother doesn't always mean giving birth. And being a sister, sometimes has to take a back seat to being a parent.
Til next time.... Maybe I'll tackle my true love, the NFL. I have a lot to say about professional athletes today.
I believe that I raised two responsible, caring adults. I am often reminded by others, that while I'm not perfect, my children, now adults are making all the right decisions. Which has lead us to the most unique situation I have ever run into, and am now a part of a very non traditional family.
My children both have the same father. He and I divorced when my daughter was almost 5 yrs old. He went on to remarry, and have another child. He and his new family moved out of state, and about a year later, he was murdered by his wife. She is now serving 17 years in prison for second degree murder. I've never kept this a secret, but it's not something I have shared openly until now. I think you understand my reluctance to share our story, especially with people that I don't know. You see, his wife killed him, after taking her 2 young children to daycare, returning home. Walking down the road to her father's home, taking his registered legal gun, walking back to the home she shared with my ex-husband, and shot him while he slept in his bed. She then walked back to her father's home, put the gun back from where she had taken it, walked back to her home, and called the police. She claimed that she came home to find the back door open, and assumed it was her husband, and he had not shut the door all the way after waking up. She went into the bedroom,expecting to find him awake, only to see blood all up the wall, and covering the bed, and him. I was questioned by the TBI, via phone. Wanting to know if I had any witnesses to my being home at the time of the murder. Well of course I had my entire family, as I was living with my parents, who were helping me in taking care of my kids. I also had the daycare that I took my children to in the mornings before school, and I was not only at work, but on time. The day before I had gone to the store, and had proof of my visit there in the late afternoon. I also pointed out to the detective that he could pull the phone records for their home and find that I had talked to my ex-husband at length the day before, as he had called my son to say happy birthday, and to apologize to me for his affair. There's more to that story, but I need to move on to the topic of this blog, so that will have to wait for another day.
Fast forward to June of 2012. My daughter, who is in touch with her half sister, now living with their Aunt and Uncle in Arizona, and is being told that her sister is being abused. The state of Arizona is willing to back my daughter having custody of her sister, and whether or not she was actually abused, the Aunt and Uncle are at their wits end in dealing with this girl, so they ship her to my daughter, with custody papers and basically say good riddance.
While my children where still teenagers, I had gotten them counseling. Not only did they have to deal with their father's death, but the suicide of my brother. My daughter was also dealing with 4 friends, over 4 years that also died by suicide. She developed a medical condition that baffled the doctors until someone got the bright idea to remove her gallbladder. I do believe that my children are as "normal" as they are because I made them see a therapist at least twice a month. I knew that even though they seemed "normal" that everything (and I've left a lot of it out) they went thru was more than I as and adult could deal with, much less their teenage minds to deal with.
My daughter's sister (let's call her Sue, just to give her a name for this) Sue, also went to a therapist, but admits that she didn't talk to the therapist, after she got in trouble with her Aunt for things she told that person. Big breach of sue's trust, and understandably she doesn't trust most adults. How could she with all that she's been thru. And I haven't begun to tell you everything she's endured in her 16 years. Lets be clear, none of what she has gone thru in any way excuses what you are about to read.
Sue, is quite the drama queen. Seriously I thought my daughter had cornered that market when she was that age, but alas, I'm learning that I had it quite easy with my daughter. I had the typical teenage girl issues to deal with. Know it all, on the phone all the time, boys, grades.... You get the point. My daughter was no picnic, but no where near Sue when it comes to drama.
Sue is taking honors classes in school. Yet it's a battle every day for us to get her to put the required amount of work into these classes. As we have explained to her, honor's classes should have twice the amount of work put into them to get A's and B's in the class. Sue feels she can just do the minimum work, and pass, and it's ok. My daughter has literally had to ask me to explain to this child that honors classes mean you work twice as hard as what you would for a non honors class. We still have to tell her to do her homework, how to study for a test, and there are days that she doesn't want to put the work into the class and will try to get one of us to give her the answers so that she doesn't have to read or look into it herself.
Sue also has a major attitude issue. Now this doesn't surprise me. Sue was given to my former in-laws when she was about 2 or 3, and raised by them for years. My former mother in law died, leaving her with my former father in law. Who never should have been raising her, for many many reasons. I won't go into them, I don't have the need to put that out in public... Yet..... Basically I can tell you that the two of them had 2 boys that they raised, 2 girls who both died very very young. So they spoiled Sue. Whatever she wanted, she got. They had tried to do this with my daughter, but I put a stopper in that bottle before my daughter was a year old.
Sue's Aunt and Uncle had grown children of their own. I do believe they are actually Grandparents as well. I'm not 100% sure of that, because I didn't really know them when I was part of that family. My husband really didn't care for them at all.
Sue, as I'm sure you have safely guessed by now, has Daddy issues. Let me give you a good example of this. Over the weekend, Sue met 2 classmates at Walmart to do a school project. They had to create a PSA video. So they gathered their materials (I should mention that Sue had my daughter's $300 camera to film this with), and were recording clips of them walking around the store while they did this. They then proceed to ask people the questions they needed answered to make the video. About an hour, maybe an hour and a half later, she calls my daughter and tells her they are done, and she's ready to be picked up. Off to Walmart go my daughter and her boyfriend (who is also living in home), not only to pick her up, but to get a few things we need here.
They get back home, unpack the items, and do what ever else they need to do. My daughter's boyfriend leaves for work, and my daughter is helping Sue gather what she needs to edit this video. Now mind you, Sue has had every piece of electronic equipment taken away from her, for various reasons. She is basically grounded from technology because she can't do what she's expected to do at 16. She has chores that are often done half way. She has epilepsy and has had issues in remembering to take her medication. So my daughter gives her a laptop to use to edit the videos they took, and make the PSA. Sounds pretty basic right? Nope, here is where the drama begins, this week.
One would think that 16 yr old kids really don't want to be doing school work on a Saturday, and that they would go in, get the footage they needed, and get out as quickly as possible. My daughter starts watching the video clips, and finds that this isn't the case. Not only did they not get the footage they needed to get for the assignment, but they quite literally jacked around in Walmart, flirting and being stupid for most of the clips. My daughter, with my complete understanding and sympathy at this point, loses her temper. It is on the footage for everyone to hear, exactly how much screwing around they did. How much a bully Sue comes across in the footage as, and to top it all off, apparently one of the kids didn't like the answer that someone gave about not wanting to be on camera, and when the guy walked away the other student is heard saying "He must be illegal". This causes Sue and the other boy to start laughing. My daughter is not amused by this at all. You see, my kids were raised with the knowledge that you are no better than the next person. You have no right to make fun of, bully or discriminate against anyone. My daughter took that statement as racist, and told Sue that not only was it not funny, but Sue is now in my daughter's mind, a bully and a racist.
I won't bore you with all the details of what was said, or done in the last 24 plus hours. I will tell you that things got so bad that my daughter told Sue : "I feel like a failure of a mom. I am suppose to be raising you, teaching you right from wrong, and yet you can't seem to learn what I teach you. You have made me believe that I shouldn't be a mom, ever". Now my daughter has wanted to be a mom since she was about 5 years old. Maybe younger. She always loved babies, and kids. She was everyone're favorite babysitter when she was younger, and still is to some now. My daughter wanted nothing more than to be a mom, so to hear her say that, quite literally broke my heart. After Sue went to her room, I reminded my daughter that mom's aren't perfect, and that she can't take this personally. That there are many many things that happened to shape her sister the way she is now, and it's going to take a whole lot of time to under do this.
I hope my daughter doesn't give up on being a mom. I don't want her to give up on that idea. Some times, we are given our lot in life to teach us how to be stronger and better than those that came before us. So, here's to a non traditional family, and to one day seeing my daughter give birth to a child, the same way my mother was there when I had her.
There isn't really a point in my blog today, other than I'm sure there are other families out there, and they need to know they aren't the only ones in this situation. They are not alone. We are not alone. Being a mother doesn't always mean giving birth. And being a sister, sometimes has to take a back seat to being a parent.
Til next time.... Maybe I'll tackle my true love, the NFL. I have a lot to say about professional athletes today.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Funny thing is.....
Funny thing is:
1. People think physical disability means diminished thinking. Nope not true. I will bet my IQ is still higher than yours, even on my pain meds.
2. People think it's ok to lie about stupid things... Not true, if you can't tell me the truth, why bother even talking about it at all to me? Really what you do is your business, not mine, even if it directly affects me.
3. I am not required by law to accept an apology, even if one is made. In this case I'm pretty sure it never will be made, however, if it is I'm still not required to accept it. Or forget what was said.
4. Let's set the record straight. There is no reason to lie to me. I am not God. I have no right to judge your choices. The mistakes are yours to make and to learn from. I have plenty of my own mistakes to learn from, not taking on yours as well.
5. We have had this very conversation before... So the big question is... Why are you still doing it?
Honestly when it comes down to it, I really don't care. I don't care if you don't want to be honest with me, because that just shows a lack of true feelings on your part, not mine.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Don't you hate it when....
Don't you hate it when....
You stand up for someone you love, and they take the other person's side?
People think that their opinion is the only one that matters?
People think no matter what, they are always right?
People who have no idea what you are going thru, think they have the right to put you down or call you names?
Personally, I'm tired of all the above. Don't like it when I stand up for you, fine I won't do it any more.
Don't like my opinion, go to hell, cause you aren't going to change it.
No one knows everything, but there are people with higher I.Q. than you, so suck it up buttercup!
You don't know my pain, you have no idea what it feels like to be inside my body. Shut the hell up and get over it.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Hello again.. Sorry to be away so long
Hello again. I know it's been too long. I've been busy in my own way. Busy trying to stay off pain meds as much as possible, though our weather has turned my 9 pain into off the chart pain. I've also been working on the book, which has now become at least possibly 3 books.
I'm going to set a goal to blog at least once a week. If for no other reason than this gives me a place to put things down, and not have to worry about someone complaining about what I say.
So I'll keep this one shorter than normal, and just leave you with this, you will not agree with everyone in your life, or around you all the time, but if you open yourself up to hearing them, you may find that their side of the story makes just as much sense as yours does... Everyone has an opinion, and it doesn't hurt to be open to other opinions.
Til next time... DFTBA
I'm going to set a goal to blog at least once a week. If for no other reason than this gives me a place to put things down, and not have to worry about someone complaining about what I say.
So I'll keep this one shorter than normal, and just leave you with this, you will not agree with everyone in your life, or around you all the time, but if you open yourself up to hearing them, you may find that their side of the story makes just as much sense as yours does... Everyone has an opinion, and it doesn't hurt to be open to other opinions.
Til next time... DFTBA
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